"It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all."

growls

2005-12-01T05:24:00Z

I hate you, Gateway.

oops

2005-11-12T00:44:57Z

I was a bitch last night. I'm sorry. I was thrown off from the get go and, well, I don't really have any other excuses. Sorry.

However, I did get to see a bunch of people I knew I missed, and even some that I hadn't realized I was missing... and I still miss you!

I think I'm transfering into the Catholic dorm (if I can get in)... bigger rooms, climate control, (possibly) no roommate, and the ultimate plus: cute, single, Catholic boys. Their mommas raised them right; they not only go to mass, but also realize how to dress up. Yay!

Tristan's here for the weekend... Joy abounds.

yaddayaddaSUBJECTLINEyaddayadda

2005-11-04T05:08:44Z

Houston, I think we're making progress... I hope.

Monsoon Wedding is excellent... I'm considering keeping my self up way too damn late to watch it again.

Don't fuck with me

2005-11-01T22:43:41Z

It's All Souls' Day. Somebody pray for mine.

I wish life came with a "delete" button.

Happy Halloween

2005-11-01T06:03:23Z

Happy Halloween to one and all... you should be out getting drunk somewhere if you're in college. If you're too young for that, I pity you. Just keep counting down the years until you, too, can be out getting shit-faced without fear of having class in the morning. Enjoy!

Side note: Unless you frequent the Native American house on Nevada Street in Urbana, IL, SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT UIUC'S MASCOT! It's not a racial slur a la the Redskins, nor do we depict Native Americans as cartoons (the Cleveland Indians). So, until we start using YOUR ethnicity as our mascot, IT AIN'T ANY OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS, especially if you don't attend/have never attended UIUC. In short, high-minded, white liberals, stop bitching about a school's mascot. Don't you have bigger things to protest, like the War in Iraq, the pro-life radicals and the entire right wing agenda?

Just keep it in perspective, people. There are bigger wrongs in the world to right than the Chief and his Fighting Illini...

Eat me

2005-10-26T14:20:36Z

It ain't ever gonna be the same.

If it can't grow, it can't be maintained.
If it can't be maintained, it dies.
If it dies, it's gone.

The De-thaw begins

2005-10-24T20:53:19Z

Wow.

World Series games are amazing, even when your team isn't playing it. Although it's cold as all fuck in October in Bridgeport. But, SoChi's up 2-0 in the series, and even though it pains my Cubs' fan heart to say it... They might win it all. And no, I don't considered semi-cheering for the Sox selling out. No, I consider that to be cheering for my city. Because, as a city, we've been getting shafted on the World Series for 160+ years.

Although part of me can't help but cheer when the Astros do something well... a good play is always fun to see.

Fencing tonight, as well as wondering what the fuck to be for Halloween. All ideas welcome.

Because I'm in College and Cheap and Lazy...

2005-10-20T06:07:44Z

Because I'm a rich, spoiled, yet cheap brat from Park Ridge, I want a free 30GB iPod. Hence, this link. Enjoy, and go for it... you could enjoy a new, free iPod and credit card, too!

Hey [friend's name], Check out this site freeiPods.com
Click here: http://ipods.freepay.com/?r=24058169

ShitShitShit

2005-10-15T06:10:48Z

A phrase that fits today perfectly: awkward as all fucking hell. But life goes on. An upside: I got to wake up to the sound of my parents getting ready for work in the morning, a sound I've really missed. Yes, it was way too early to be up, but it was a comforting sound and I was able to fall back asleep.

Poems I'm really into at the moment and you should be too:

"One Art" by Elizabeth Bishop

"in time of daffodils" and "Anyone Lived in a Pretty How Town" by e.e. cummings

"When You Have Forgotten Sunday: The Love Story" by Gwendolyn Brooks

"Bum Town" by Tony Fitzpatrick

Go out and find copies of all those poems. I swear, you'll love them, too. Maybe. Hopefully. Or, I'm just weird, which isn't that much of a long shot.

My new mantra: I will not use him as a rebound. He is too good to use as a rebound. I will not use him as a rebound... See, Beckie, I do listen.

"Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth." -Alan Watts

...

2005-10-11T16:58:16Z

Russell, Eric, you guys are the best. I love you both tons.

Bryan, I'm sorry for snapping at you. Ask Daniela if you really want to know.

Zims, it'll start looking up. He's a man, and they're pretty clueless (see: Bryan Kerr, who has no idea when Daniela and I are talking about him in front of him). Your offer to come over this weekend was one of the sweetest I've heard. Thank you; despite the ups and the downs and the people, we've managed to hold it together. I'm here whenever you need me. From kindergarden to now, I love you.

Daniela, I don't care what people say about rooming with someone you know in college. It's one of the best choices I've ever made, and probably the only smart one. I love you.

I'm applying for RA... of the following, who do I pick for recommendations? States, Trenkle, Spoleti, Albright? (I get two).

A Vow That Will NEVER Be Kept

2005-10-03T22:11:49Z

Alright, here it goes, I'm updating. I have nothing to really say, which is problematic when updating one of these.

I'm gonna try to keep updated on EVERYTHING... homework, however, does not apply.

I hate Suburban Express. It should die and rot in hell. The train gets me back to my dorm a shit load quicker, allowing for more sleep. This is unlike the garbage men here at wonderful UIUC, who feel that doing the garbage pick up for my dorm is perfectly acceptable at 4:30 in the morning. I blame them for my headache. Fuckers.

Homecoming was fun. Well, to be specific, the post-Homecoming laser tagging was fun, even though I don't really like laser tag. I knew I missed people from back home, but I never realized how much until I saw all of them together. It makes being so far away suck even more.

And goddamn him for using my legs to get my attention... it worked a little TOO well and I spent 3 hours horribly distracted from sweet, sweet sleep.

...
I am finally seeing
That I was the one worth leaving
...

Don't be surprised when I run this damn town...

2005-09-22T05:56:33Z

My pirate name is:

Iron Ethel Kidd

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

TAKE THAT, BITCHES!

Rape Class... Yes, This Is What I'm In College For

2005-09-12T03:54:55Z

I had rape class tonight at Newman Hall, which is the Catholic center on campus. Basically, I was forced to sit through a lecture on how not to get raped while staring at pictures of the Pope, Jesus and the Virgin Mary. Talk about awkward. At least I actually dragged my lazy ass out of bed to Church today and won't be burning in hell anytime soon... I hope.

Anyway, in honor of FYCARE rape class, here are...

QUOTES OF THE NIGHT!!!(said in big, booming announcer voice):

*mocking* "Drunk students? I go to UIUC and I've NEVER seen drunk students..."

"Well, you know when you're all at a bar... Okay, house party, you're all freshmen and I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you don't have fakes yet."

"'You go to a party and see this really nice, kinda cute guy, Derek, from your philosophy class. You both get blasted and start heading home. You get to Derek's dorm first, and he says that you should come up, 'cause he's too drunk to walk you home, the MTD has stopped running and you can sleep in his roommate's bed, since he's out of town. You do this, and wake up in the middle of the night to find Derek kissing you. How do you get out of this?' Okay, ladies, first off, your bullshit meter should be off the charts since the MTD never stops running. Secondly, my advice on the best way out of this would be to say, 'Derek, what the fuck do you think you're doing? I'm trying to sleep here. Go back to your own bed,' since he's a freshman like you and probably isn't used to having a girl in his room. That should chase him off."

"It says here that you should always have a "sober buddy" if you go out and drink. Now, I realize that this can't always be accomplished, so I'll tell you what I have. I don't have a "sober buddy"; I have a "buddy-that-isn't-as-fucked-up-as-you-and-the-rest-of-your-friends". As long as they know their first name and can count to ten, you're good to go."

I <3 FYCARE!

Katie

(Side note: Daniela needs to stop hogging all the men. The rest of us would like some, too, you know... *grin* I love you sweetie!)

falnangl9124 @ 2005-09-10T23:53:00

2005-09-10T05:00:09Z

I'm watching El Crimen Del Padre Amaro... creepy (although incredibly interesting and compelling) movie. Either way, I'm watching 10 Things I Hate About You afterwards to see if it'll cheer me up. It won't, but I can always hope.

On another note, I fucking quit. I'm sick of the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach every fucking time. Problem is, I want to say no more, but I can't. Whenever I open my mouth, nothing comes out; for all my bravado with other people, for all my assertiveness, I can't speak around him. Not the truth, not the half truth, nothing. The really pathetic things is that even though I say I quit, I only dig myself in deeper.

Katie
Stara ljubezen ne zarjavi.

falnangl9124 @ 2005-09-07T19:32:00

2005-09-07T00:32:56Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet mcubed1988? Spanish class junior year.
2.~What would you do if you had never met deadfrodo? I'd never be able to handle sarcasm.
3.~What do you honestly think of yeldopi? She's nuts and I love her.
4.~Would or did mcubed1988 and bellasignorina go out? Nope... never.
5.~Have you ever liked antisocialone43? Yes.
6.~If uglysinglesclub died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? That she's awesome and fuck the naysayers.
7.~Would catcher0928 and mcubed1988 make a good couple? Nope.
8.~Describe justariver in 3 words: Loud and oblivious. (At times.)
9.~Do you think mcubed1988 is hot? Yes, yes I do. Ow Ow! ;-p
10.~Would uglysinglesclub and mcubed1988 make a lovely couple? No.
11.~What do you think of when you see bellasignorina? I love my roommate!
12.~Tell me something humiliating about mcubed1988: I call her Longshanks McGee
13.~Do you know any of arianrhod1's family members? No
14.~What's mcubed1988's favorite color? Don't know. Oops
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is mcubed1988? 11
16.~What would you do if 0al_e0 just professed their undying love for you? I would tell her to lay off the booze and that I love her too.
17.~What language does mcubed1988 speak? English
18.~Who is mcubed1988 going out with? Nobody that I know of...
19.~Is jemstone34 a boy or a girl? Girl
20.~Would mcubed1988 and 0al_e0 make a good couple? No
21.~Who do you think mcubed1988 would be great with from this list? Um... um... *blankstare*
22.~When was the last time you talked to mcubed1988? Last night
23.~What is antisocialone43's favorite band? MSI/At The Drive In/The Mars Volta
24.~Does catcher0928 have any siblings? Yes
25.~Would you ever date arianrhod1? No
26.~Would you ever date justariver? No
27.~Is mcubed1988 single? Yes
28.~What is mcubed1988's last name? McKelvey
29.~What is mcubed1988's middle name? Maureen
30~What is yeldopi's fantasy? Bondage.
31.~Where does jemstone34 live? In my town PR/N boarder
32.~Would you make out with mcubed1988? Nope
33.~Are deadfrodo and arianrhod1 best friends? Close... possibly best.
34.~Does justariver like mcubed1988? No
35.~How did you meet mcubed1988? Spanish class junior year.
36.~Is mcubed1988 older than you? Nope.
37.~Is mcubed1988 the sexiest person alive? Yes, yes she is.

Blah blah blah blah

2005-09-01T00:22:05Z

I woke up at 7:41 today. Normally, this wouldn't seem wrong to anyone, but here's the thing: I have an 8am. Oops. I swear, I vaulted out of my damn bed (I'm on the top bunk) and got dressed in 2 minutes. I even managed to make it to the lecture hall on time, which I was afraid I wouldn't, so YAY! I also found out that in Global History (my 8am) that I have a quiz on Friday. The prof told us that we can show up, take our quiz, and just clear out when we're done. This class seems relatively easy (then again, I have a shitload of history teachers in my family, so maybe it's just me) and I'm thinking (or is that hoping) that I can be done with the quiz and out again in 10-15 minutes tops.

Other than that, I'm just counting down to Friday.

I'M LEGAL TOMORROW! (well, I'm legal at 11:06 am on September 1st, but who's counting?)

Katie

EH 101: A Lesson in Apathy

2005-08-28T19:44:13Z

So... one week of college is out of the way. Thank God, there's only like, 35 to go until summer.

Classes are okay... but I'm bored. Most of them are huge lecture halls, and nobody keeps the same seat, which can make it hard to meet people in the class. I am, however making friends in the halls. Let's go through one by one and discuss them, shall we, since we all know I won't get around to my reading in a timely fashion. Oops...

TASHA: Loud, lives 3 doors down and across the hall. Fun, depending on the situation. Need to watch her with the Jungle Juice/Kool-Aide and Everclear. Refuses to drink beer, which considering her affinity for anything with a proof attached you'd think she wouldn't really care.

DORSA: I love Dorsa. And Dorsa's Chex Mix. And her Swiss chocolate. I mean, what is there to not love about Dorsa? Yay! For Southies that live on my floor and not over in the Six Pack.

SCOTT: Scotty doesn't know! Okay, I had to get that out of my system. Sweetheart that lives below us and across the hall. He's fun to go out with and can normally find us a pretty good party.

DEREK: Lives across the hall from Scott, we only met him because he has a habit of leaving his room door open while watching good movies. Now that I think about it, that's a really good way to pick up chicks that make a habit of wandering the third floor, like us... hmmm... Either way, he has Chappelle's show on DVD, which makes him pretty damn good in my book.

BRYAN: Derek's roommate. He's pretty cool, too, loves to play online poker. I fully support this, since we're not allowed to use poker chips in the halls because it's "gambling". Psh.

BRIAN: Guy from Warren that Daniela met on Facebook. He's a sweetie, too, and lets us come over to Hendrick House and hang out in air conditioning. There was a bonding moment last night with him and Eric (who also went to Warren) over the streaker at the Maine South/Warren game last year. For those of you who don't know, there was a streaker. The security guards couldn't catch him. Hare took matters into his own hands and tackled him. According to Brian and Eric, the guy was out of school for a few days. Way to go, Coach Hare.

ERIC: Brian's friend, met him at Late Nighter. He's got this awesome smile and can play piano (although at first he said he couldn't) sings (although I haven't heard him) and says he can't dance... That I'm not sure of, because when I see him dance it looks damn good, but he says that footworking is the only thing he can do. We'll see.

JOHN: "Daniela, HE'S A HICK!" Thanks, Dorsa, I couldn't have put it better. Seriously, he's from downstate Illinois (two hours further south than here... let that sink in) and collects knives. And copies of the Kama Sutra. And edible lube that tastes cherries. Another, more sexual Jay, anyone?

There are a few more, but those are the people I've really gotten to know (as much as you can over one week) and really hang out with. I've only known them for a lil' bit, but it almost feels like I've known them forever, which is strange. Well, I mostly feel that way about Eric and Brian and sometimes Tasha. Daniela I have known forever, so that's that.

QUOTE OF THE DAY (RATHER, NIGHT)

Scott: Every party needs a fucking idiot.

Katie

falnangl9124 @ 2005-08-28T01:06:00

2005-08-27T06:07:36Z

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Honestly... jeez. Decisions blow like a $.50 hooker. *bites lower lip*

30 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

2005-08-25T13:43:14Z

30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
This was written by a guy who has had years of experiance.

1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

8.5 If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy..

11.5 Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.

15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.

16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.

20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.

21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.

23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

26. Memorize their god damn birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.

28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is always nice.

29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.

30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

First Day = Done

2005-08-25T02:01:40Z

^Is Wishing For All the Second Chances She Can Get^

I had to get my ass out of bed at 7 today. That fucking sucks. I've officially become spoiled by College Time, that ambiguous thing that allows people my age to stay up until an ungodly hour and sleep until whenever they need to. Tomorrow is a College Time Day for me, 'cause my only class starts at 2pm. Joy! However, I need to be in bed early on Tuesday/Thursday nights 'cause I have an 8am Mondays/Wednesdays/Friday. Piss-poor scheduling on my part. I'll just have to remedy that next semester.

I got the job at Assembly Hall. Now, I'm going to be paid to watch concerts and basketball games, instead of me paying them to see them. Yay! I'm also seriously considering fencing lessons and tango and am definitely joining women's rugby. Actually, I have the time and I'll probably do all three. Tris-Tris had Facebook message/wall that said for UIUC people to know if they were gonna be around, or something like that. It would truly rock my world to see Tris-Tris again. I miss him. *nods*

Other than that, things are still really kinda dragging. I like it here. Its a pretty campus, and so far my profs seem really nice and like they'll be fair when it comes to grading. I still have yet to meet my English prof. He/She will make it or break it for me, 'cause Albright and Spoleti have set my standard for English teachers, and nothing less will do.

Still haven't met anyone that really does anything for me, except Tash and Daniela, but they're not exactly what I'm looking for... yeah. It just sucks, because, let's face it, when you have me, Tasha and Daniela to pick from, Tasha and Daniela go first and I'm just there. Fuck. I think Daniela and I both are just like "FUCK MEN!" sometimes and the rest its like "I WANT A MAN!" Yes, we're both going through with drawl. Here's the thing, though... Daniela's fix (okay, fixes) is/are in the area... I have no fix in sight. Fuck.

Love me or leave me, but FUCKING DECIDE ALREADY!

~*kt*~

Quotes of the Day:

Katie: What the shit are you doing out of bed?
Daniela: *blank stare*
Katie: I'm sorry. You know I don't mean it like that. *sheepish look*
Daniela: Yeah, I know. Only in our room would "What the shit are you doing out of bed?" translate to "My dear friend, why are you awake? I'm am concerned for your sleep patterns, since you could easily have another hour before your class."

*after being asked a question about a guy*
Daniela: *nodding* Yeah... ... ... yeah.

First College Post!

2005-08-22T08:46:01Z

So far, my expectations of college have been met; that is, its the same high school bullshit on a bigger level. That, and you get to stay out later. Way later. Which in itself is fun, but it kinda sucks, hanging out in a guy's dorm that has A/C only to come home to a bunch of chicks at 3am with out the A/C. That made me sad, but I'll learn to live with it.

I have, however, met some amazing people. And by amazing, I mean funny and cute and just generally nice, which will hopefully make the transition easier. I need that badly, for the transition to be smooth. So far, I'm enjoying myself, but I'm just not sure about this yet. It's okay, but it isn't that amazing. I mean, most of the frat parties I've gone to (and have actually gotten into- it's not hard to get in if you have tits... however, having four male friends with you makes it a bit difficult) ran out of beer. That does not make for a fun night. Add to the mix a pair of three inch heels and a five mile hike back and forth across campus, and you get a very deeply unhappy Katie. And our mini-fridge wasn't delivered. Fuckin' A.

Basically, I miss home. I can be distracted during the day by the people and whatever I have to do, and at night there's always something to do, but right around this time if I haven't warn myself out by now, I start to miss home and I can't sleep. It blows. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

Quotes from Tonight:

I swear to drunk, I'm not God.

That's some relaxing shit. Instead of saying "hom" when I meditate, Tasha, I'm gonna start thinking about you and I'm gonna say, "Hooker...."

Van Duren.

I'm not your everyday pervert.

I love you and I miss you. *MUAH*
Katie

falnangl9124 @ 2005-07-26T12:41:00

2005-07-26T18:19:07Z

Sports Dick
You Are What You Are

Why can't you understand that the accomplishments of your state's sports teams have absolutely nothing to do with you? No matter whether your favorite team wins or loses, you're still a loser.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 86% on racial
You scored higher than 14% on loserdom
You scored higher than 78% on social
You scored higher than 89% on sexual

Link: The Horrifying Stereotype Test written by RelaxLove on Ok Cupid

Thanks, Beckie, for helping me waste more time when I should be cleaning/packing/in my mother's words making myself a useful member of society. When I become a complete degenerate, I'll refer her to you.

I leave for Florida tomorrow, which is good. Summer here as sucked so far (what else is new, when you live in Action Ridge?), and I could use a change of scene. Plus, I get to see Brian again (we're moving up in the world when we get to see each other TWICE in one summer, lol) and he always manages to put me into a better mood. Granted, its normally because we're doing something stupid as all hell, but we'll see. I mean, maybe his parents will get there *before* they put us in the back of the squad car this time.

Daniela's off in Mexico... which blows. Now, I really have no one to talk to, and by talk to I mean bitch at/sympathize with. Life's a bitch.

I got into a debate over religion with my cousin's boyfriend and one of her neighbors... that didn't go over too well. I was pretty much told that if I love my friends I'll convert them to the "true faith" of Christianity and it made me sick. I can't believe that the God, who I was taught was kind and loving and forgiving, would cast somebody into hell simply because they decided not to follow him. I mean, I have Buddhist and Hindu friends that act in a more morally upright way than some Christians I know. I can't believe a forgiving God would do something like that; I'd rather burn with them than without them. It was another thing I ended up crying over on the way home.

I got out of going to a wedding in early August, thank God. I've learned that at my age, you're expected to have a date to go to weddings. Joy of joys. *rolls eyes* Fuck it all, and fuck 'em all.

Stara ljubezen ne zarjavi.
Katicia

falnangl9124 @ 2005-07-21T20:23:00

2005-07-22T05:58:45Z

À l'amour de l'homme I plus que la vie :

Il y a quelques minutes, j'ai fait projeter tout cette lettre dehors et la prépare pour aller, mais son tellement plus dur pour commencer que j'ai jamais imaginé.

Je suis prêt pour laisser et avoir fait le nettoyage mental aussi bien que dégager réellement toute la merde hors de ma pièce. J'ai mis la plupart de mes rapports dans deux catégories : Ceux que je trouve intéressant garder et ceux que je laisserai mourir. Il y a eu quelques uns dans la terre de l'Aucun-Hom, mais aucun embarassant ainsi en tant que vôtre.

Avez-vous jamais rencontré quelqu'un, et dans cela instantané que vous les avez rencontrés sus que cette personne allait effectuer votre vie à chaque niveau simple ? Que vous n'êtes pas sûr tranquille s'ils seront un amoureux ou juste un ami, mais vous regardez-les du fait l'instant et vous savent qu'ils seront bons pour vous, même si il vous prend par l'enfer pour y arriver ? C'est comment j'ai jugé quand je vous ai rencontré la première fois. Naturellement, presque chacun qui me connaît aura entendu ceci, mais moi ne vous a jamais dit. J'ai trop peur lointain de ressembler à d'un imbécile pour faire cela.

La plupart des personnes regarderaient ce que me sens je pour vous, le sonderaient et le trouveraient vouloir pour l'amour vrai. C'est parce qu'elles semblent estimer que les véritables moyens d'amour vous ne voient pas l'objet de vos défauts d'affections, mais je sais que vous les avez. Je vous ai vu refuser de concéder un point longtemps après que vous ayez été prouvé mal et je vous ai vu agir comme un egomaniac tout en jurant pour être l'homme le plus humble sur terre. Tout que je peux dire à eux est que je sais que vous connaissez vos défauts profondément vers le bas, et je t'aime en dépit d'eux. Puisque pour chaque moment égotiste j'ai vu, j'ai vu une douzaine davantage qui montrent votre passion pour la musique et apprendre et combien vous vous occupez vraiment de vos amis, et à moi, que beaucoup de sincérité vaut la peine tous les moments égotistes vous avez jamais eu et aurez jamais.

Mais maintenant, je suis laissé se demander si je vous donne juste vers le haut et passe avec ma vie. Un ami m'a dit par le passé de cesser de désirer ardemment vous, parce que tandis que je désire ardemment je peux juste m'ennuyer de mon compagnon d'âme. J'ai dû mordre ma lèvre pour garder de rire de lui, parce qu'en ce qui concerne je, j'ai rencontré mon compagnon d'âme. Pour aussi serré-labié que je peux être, écartant l'information autour au lieu de l'investir toute dans une source, vous êtes l'un homme qui pourrait me défaire. Vous avez entendu et savez sa majeure partie quand elle vient à moi ; vous savez quand je me sens comme la merde et effrayé au delà de la croyance et de vous savez ce qu'apportera un sourire à mon visage le plus vite. Ce les alarmes l'enfer hors de moi parfois, savoir que mon bonheur pourrait dépendre d'une personne tellement et qu'il pourrait m'écraser dans un instant, mais moi s'écartent.

Je vais à l'université maintenant et regarderai autour et trouver de nouveaux hommes, je suppose. Cependant, je sais que j'ai deux chemins que je pourrais prendre. Un, je saurai que vous êtes l'homme que j'ai besoin dans ma vie, de chaque manière simple, et que je devrais faire de quelque guerre j'aie besoin pour vous garder. Deux, je saurai que vous êtes simplement mon meilleur ami et quelqu'un amour de I, mais qu'un autre homme approprié mieux à moi. Nous devrons simplement voir.

Mais pour maintenant, sans espoir ou ordre du jour, laissez-moi dire cela je t'aime, que je suis dans l'amour avec vous. Et pour maintenant, c'est assez.

Katie

Jumping the Gun

2005-07-19T01:58:09Z

Today's been stressful. I got scant amounts of sleep on a train full of people. But I did have fun in Boston. My tips are blue and my father has yet to notice (I confessed to Mom earlier), my thighs are killing me (thanks, Longshanks) and I'm finally coming down from five solid days of just laughing my ass off. Bottoming out sucks. As you can see, I went off the deep end and decided not to live life half way. I plan on sticking to it, but I probably won't be as rash about it as I wanted to be.

Daniela had something interesting... a boyfriend application on her MySpace. I'm sorely tempted to post it here, but won't. Some foolish notion of pride, I suppose, although I really have none left. Not shocking when I look back at my life and what I've done; i.e., it doesn't result in much. Either way, I'm skipping the app, but this amused me.

Relationship Equivalency Exam for Men

1. English: What does it mean when you say, "I'll call you?"

2. Math: How many women can you have sex with and still be monogamous?

3. Psychology: Other than abject fear, what are some possible reactions to the words, "I love you?"

4. Economics: Who pays for dinner if your date makes more than you, and how long before you resent her for it?

5. Physics: Find a way to arrange your bathroom items on your half of the sink, knowing full well your girlfriend needs the whole sink for her items.

Relationship Equivalency Exam for Women

1. English: When you say, "I'm not in a rush to get married," define the word "rush."

2. Math: Is the amount of minutes it takes you to evaluate a date as a potential husband more than or equal to the amount of minutes it takes you to identify and ignore the red flags?

3. Psychology: Other than abject fear, what are some possible reactions to the words, "I need space?"

4. Economics: How much should you pay for an apartment you never visit in order to keep a boyfriend from freaking out that you live in his?

5. Physics: Find a way to arrange your bathroom items on your half o£ the sink while still maintaining the illusion that you wake up looking this good.

Pencils down. Break up or marry accordingly.

Now, if only I could find someone to take it with... :-/ Eh, that's what college is for, right? Riiiiiiiight. Like I have a fucking shot.

falnangl9124 @ 2005-07-18T15:32:00

2005-07-18T20:34:21Z

I can't live half way anymore. It's gotta be all or nothing; I won't settle for in-between. I used to think that they were wrong, that guys and girls could just be friends and it wouldn't mean anything. My opinion on that is rapidly changing. I just find myself sitting here wishing that I could erase and redo three years of my life; I wish that I hadn't listened to my parents and had insisted on being taken out of South and sent to Guerin or Res. I wish that bitch had driven me out and I'd lost my backbone and let her. But no, I just had to fucking stand up for myself and here I am, caught in-between. I want out, but I don't know how to do it without ripping everything to shreds.

You've got a lure I can't deny

But you've had your chance

So say good bye

Say good bye